When I was going through my transition towards a simpler, more intentional life, reading other people’s stories was really helpful. I wanted to offer the same to others, so I wrote my book, Enough, in the hope it would also encourage them to find their own version of minimalism and intentional living.
I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 25. People think death is morbid and so we don’t talk about it very often but the death anxiety I had following my all clear catapulted my mortality to the forefront of my mind. This made life feel very precious. I found myself promising I would no longer do anything that didn’t add value to my life. I realised how many regrets I would have had. I decided I wanted to figure out what truly mattered to me so I could focus on these things and let go of the rest.
Looking back there was a lot I was ready to let go of; I just needed ‘permission’ to do so. Things like spending time with friends who didn’t make me feel good in order to people please. Emotional spending has been the hardest to shift as it was a pattern I developed early in life. It’s amazing what stays with us and what coping mechanisms we go back to when the going gets tough. The difference now is the awareness I have around my behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Knowledge is power and the more we know about ourselves the better chance we have to make a change.
Minimalism is about ensuring our lives are filled with only what adds value to it. This can and should look different for everyone and that’s the beauty of minimalism in my opinion. Slow living is different and while the two overlap, it is more about savouring the experience of life so we can live it more fully. To live slow is to be present, mindful and enjoy the simple everyday.
I’m still working on being kinder to myself and I think it will forever be a process for me. The biggest breakthrough I had was realising my inner critic wasn’t a monster to be shouted down or ignored, it was actually my inner childhood pain. It needed love. When I started responding to my inner critic with love everything changed. It was a moment of huge personal growth.
For me, home means safety and it’s where I can be myself. When we curate a space that reflects who we are, is full of our favourite colours and the things that make us feel good, we will of course create a space that nurtures our hearts, minds and souls. To be surrounded by more mess than we can handle, clutter we don’t even like or things we never use dilutes the value of what we love and we can’t appreciate those things as much.
When we know what our personal style is and the look we’re trying to create it makes the curation process easier. Again, it comes back to embracing our own unique version of minimalism and that requires us to do something our current society discourages us from constantly – calling on our intuition. We already have all the answers inside, it’s about believing we’re worthy of doing what’s right for us.
Dress for your real life and not your fantasy life. One of my favourite prompts in the book is drawing two circles, dividing one up into your most frequent activities, the other according to the kinds of outfits you currently own and then comparing the two. There’s no point owning 20 ball gowns when you only have the need for one. Paying attention to our lives, what we actually wear and how it makes us feel will kickstart a whole new mindset in terms of our wardrobes. Some of my personal favourite places to shop include Sézane, Nadinoo, Reformation and Vestiare.
